I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
