Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
