I don't remember. Are we still dating?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
