Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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