someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You are a genius and a whore.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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