it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
