That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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