Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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