Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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