Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
