its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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