6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
