He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
