I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize