I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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