I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
