I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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