The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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