So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
