My nipple is on Facebook.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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