What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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