he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
