o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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