This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
