I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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