you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
