he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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