When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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