Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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