If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
