yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
