Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She's the barista slut.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
