How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize