i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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