Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
