Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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