She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
