My first STD was from a foam party
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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