just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
