If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I am spending my child support on dildos
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
