I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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