Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
