Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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