Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
