I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
