Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
