Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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