they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Ambien. No doubt about it.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
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The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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