That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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