Apparently you make a good broom.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
