My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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