Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
