my sisters under your porch take her home
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
