Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize