I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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