we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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