Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
