When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
