Old men and throwing up are my life now.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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