The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
