I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
