Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We had sex on a dog bed..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize