So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
