Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
