If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
